Been so lazy posting a blog lately. Yesterday, we celebrated my son's first birthday and it was great. I wanna thank all the friends and families who wished him a happy birthday. I can't believe that I already have a year old baby. It seems like it hasn't been long since I had him. I can even still feel the pain of giving birth. It's weird that sometimes, babies can really cause you some troubles but, it wouldn't even take a minute and you're back to hugging them and just kind of like forget everything they did. I guess, that's why babies are adorable because if they're not, then, nobody would take care of them especially everytime they cry and you're busy working on something and yet, you gotta pick them up coz then it would really hurt your ear listening to them which is really frustrating.

I was 22 when I got pregnant and back then, I thought, "Is this really the right age to have a baby? Did I make the right decision or did I mess up?". I was confused but at the same time, I thought, no matter what I do or no matter how much I keep thinking about myself making the right decision or not, it's already there. I couldn't back out anymore. That time, I thought, the only way that any pregnant girl could get out in that certain situation is abortion which is a huge "NO" to me. The reason why I had those thoughts is because, I was worried about my future career. When my husband, fiance then, first met me, he told me firsthand that he didn't want a career girl because if he was looking for a career girl then he wouldn't go looking for a girl on the other side of the earth which make sense I guess since he wanted to have a traditional wife. But, after I got here, I was all alone in the house and just bored up. I couldn't drive so there's really nowhere that I can go other than the house. Then, I started talking to my husband about me going to school and everything else just to get myself into doing something and not get bored up in the house. At first, the conversation ended up in a little argument and he started questioning me regarding my real intentions about marrying him. I told him, Whether a career girl or not, girls shouldn't be generalized especially when it comes to their ability to be a good wife or the opposite. I just thought to myself that if I have a career, my husband, his family and my future kids will be proud of me. I don't want my kids to go to school and everytime their classmates ask them questions like, "what does your mom do?" and they would just tell them that their mom does nothing. I just really want to prove to everybody that I am a hardworking person and not being lazy like everybody else are saying about moms who stay at home. If they just know how hard it is being a mom. It's even harder than any other jobs that anybody can have. Another thing is, with me and my husband's age difference, I wanna be able to help him out and contribute something to the family when he retires. The problem I really had back then about having a baby is that the baby could be a hindrance of me getting a job and doing something fun which was so selfish of me I guess.

Now that he's here, he's been such a great fun to the family. We were always excited of what new thing he can do everyday. Everytime, I'm bored, I just play with him although sometimes I feel like I need a break but just the entire happiness of having him is priceless. I am so thankful that I have him. When I'm upset, his smile makes me happy. That's how great babies are. Now, I'm thinking, I didn't really mess up. I did the right thing.